Building the Right Constellation of Support
One of the top success factors I see for people who land work/life transitions is having the right community. By “right” I mean a group of people who bring the tangible resources (e.g. financing, skills, knowledge, experience, social capital, etc.) and energy you need for transition success. More specifically, people who navigate transitions successfully and actively access support as well as focus on intentional selective engagement. Let’s talk about why this type of community is so important, and how you can create your own.
The Power of Seeking Support
Going through transitions by yourself is not only lonely, it’s inefficient and minimizes your effectiveness. This may sound obvious but you would be amazed how many brilliant, independent people think they need to go it alone or forge their own path instead of accessing support. My younger self fell into this category and I quickly learned that seeking out others was actually a power move.ne of the best things I did at the end of my first year as a consultant was to build out a “transition support group”. These individuals brought a range of skills, experience and social capital, and equally important, provided productive coaching and useful steers that encouraged me and kept me on course.
How to Engage the Right Support
Building a support community isn’t as simple as welcoming any and every willing participant. It’s important to be intentional and only engage with people who bring a positive and productive energy to your transition journey.
I speak from experience because I learned the hard way to NOT discuss my plans with people who were fearful of my choice to move from a corporate role to consulting. They meant well, but I spent way too much time defending my position to people who had no data or reasoning to back up their worries. and calming the anxiety of my Mom, who hated me moving across the country (it’s called healthy boundaries).
Trying to convince well-intentioned but unhelpful protestors that you’re making good choices is exhausting, generates self-doubt and can derail your transition success. Instead, make it a practice to deliberately connect with individuals you can trust for sound counsel, supportive pushes, and sanity checks. This is not about creating an echo chamber of people who will automatically back whatever you decide. Establishing healthy supports along your journey is crucial, and so is hitting the pause button with people who are not suited for that task.
Your Community-Building Playbook
Creating a support community really is the x-factor when it comes to transition success. You probably have a lot of wonderful people in your orbit who would happily lend a hand, but it’s important to be strategic when you build your community. Here are three considerations to keep in mind:
- Define Your Gaps
Think about the skills, experience, and social capital you will need to be successful. If you don’t have these now, who does? For example, if you’re transitioning to entrepreneurship, who understands your target market and is willing to share insights and ideas, make introductions for viable leads, etc.? If you’re moving to a completely different role or area or expertise, who already knows this landscape and will share their learnings with you? - Invite the Right People
Pay attention to the patterns of your energy when interacting with people. After you end a conversation with somebody how do you feel? Are you energized and more clear? Did you get a really useful push to help you change direction? Conversely, are you drained? Does self-doubt creep in after talking with this person, making you want to put your head under a pillow? Having the right people in your corner will make all the difference. - Create a Call List
Within your larger constellation of support, identify one or two shining stars. These are the people who will readily answer your calls or texts to give you perspective or a boost of confidence when you need it most. You obviously won’t leverage these sounding boards 24/7 but just knowing they are there can sometimes be all the reassurance you need.
Taking on a work life transition is a brave and bold move…not to mention a challenging one. Instead of making it a party of one, surround yourself with the abundant light, encouragement, and wisdom of a small group hand-picked by – and for – you. Your journey will be that much richer and your transition more successful.