Lowering the Pressure on Change

Experiencing a heightened sense of performance anxiety as a senior leader driving a significant change is normal, but that can be small comfort for seasoned professionals. I listen to many leaders describe how they overcame imposter syndrome early in their careers, then express frustration, and sometimes even shame that those old feelings have resurfaced. As one leader told me, “I’ve worked through this years ago. How can it be showing up again?!” 

What I’ve noticed is that a mix of learning in public, reputational risk, and unreasonable performance expectations seems to amplify this performance anxiety. Very competent leaders are asking themselves, “Am I getting it fast enough?” “Am I showing up smart enough to prove my value?” Ironically, as one of my greatest mentors described, we “blow up the bridge to our own resources” ( gifts, intuition, experience, skills) and lose access to our competence, which perpetuates our feelings of inadequacy. Simply put, when we raise the stakes of success impossibly high, we run the risk of diminishing our performance.  

I had my own experience with this when I stepped into a faculty role for a client’s executive development program. During the first few months I felt increasing levels of self-doubt and started questioning my own competence and expertise. How did I deal with it? I overprepared and told myself “to get a grip” – practices that were not helpful or productive. In fact, during the project kick-off call I helped lead, I was so nervous that my voice shook, my throat tightened, and I didn’t feel like my usual confident self at all. Afterward, a colleague who was also on the call reached out and assured me that I showed up fine. She knows me well though, and pointed out that I seemed stressed. That was the truth and an understatement all rolled into one comment, and I told her how frustrating it was to feel so much self-doubt and stress after so many years of being seen as a proven pro.  

Tools to Reclaim Your Confidence
As uncomfortable as that call was, I came face to face with my feelings, which put me on a path of finding my way back to myself with greater confidence and joy. I’m sharing what I learned because I want you to know this “blip” does not have to define or derail you. 

Thousands of years of mindfulness wisdom says actively seeking to meet and embrace your anxiety can be a key factor in helping you regain your confidence during change.  This might sound counterintuitive but being present with your feelings instead of pushing through as I did is so powerful. When you accept your full range of feelings as a valid, natural part of being human you are positioned to make progress.  Here’s a simple approach to experiment with:

1. Recognize how you feel: This may sound obvious, but it’s easy to disconnect from our bodies and operate from the neck up.  Somatic practices and mindfulness techniques can be a practical way to access valuable insight on your inner emotional world. Take a brief pause during your day and focus on your body, noticing any sensations that stand out, (tightening of your chest, heat, gripping in your belly).  Next, begin naming out loud these bodily sensations along with any messages attached to your emotional experience. For example, you might say, “My gripping belly is my fear of making a mistake.” Or, “The tightness in my shoulders tells me I feel alone in this.”
   
2. Identify why you feel this way: Using pen and paper, note one or two of the top messages you are telling yourself right now related to your experience. When I did this exercise, the two key messages that came up for me were, “I can’t make a mistake – I have to get this right the first time,” and “I’m alone in this.” 
   
3. Create a productive reframe: For each message, ask yourself, “Is this really true? If yes – what data supports this? If not, what is a truer and more liberating reframe?” I changed my messages to “I can learn from my mistakes and get better,” and “I can ask for help.”

Experiencing self-doubt later in your career is normal, especially during change. The path I followed to overcome that hurdle involved intentionally leaning into my feelings, focusing on compassion instead of judgement, and learning more about what was driving my emotions. This greater self-awareness has enabled me to lower my internal pressure gauge so that learning, and access to my strengths, is restored. 

The stakes of your work will likely remain high, but working with your feelings and meeting performance anxiety head-on with tools and intention can reduce your internal pressure and help you up your game to achieve even greater success.